If both partners are willing to do the work, resentment can easily be healed and your marriage will be all the stronger for it. And that's one of the reasons she was gone so much because it was filling up this desire from her upbringing that had always been there. It tiptoes into a, “Resentments occur when there is a lack of communication and actions about things that are bothering one, if not both partners,” explains, licensed mental health counselor and certified sex therapist. You accept the person was wrong, apologized, or didn’t mean to hurt you.

Your resentment in relationship is like an open wound in your emotions. Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker in Ohio. What was going on in their life in that moment and how much were those circumstances influencing their hurtful behavior to you? Was that stirring up any type of wounds from your past? Refusing to listen leads to more resentment, and can eventually lead to the end of the marriage.

It prevents you from healing and moving forward in your life.

I cannot do everything myself. Resentment will very quickly put out the spark your relationship once had. So the first step is discussing your feelings using some type of conflict resolution method. And if you and your partner neglect to feed the relationship, those seeds will blossom into a full-on garden of discontent.

However, it's normally not 100% their fault either. So consider using these three steps because if you have resentment in your marriage, it is going to divide and conquer you. So her being gone so much was starting to make me feel rejected and it was stirring up those wounds from my past. If you want to let go of resentment, focus on putting your marriage first. This will avoid any petty arguments and will prevent you from shifting blame onto your partner. Your feelings, even those of resentment, are just as important as your spouse’s feelings. It’s anger that’s been piled up inside of you for a long time. If you’re addressing an issue to your partner, use “I” statements. Confront problems in the relationship. You can either learn how to work through resentments or you can just let them fester. This is the most dangerous consequence of resentment in marriage because it changes the entire dynamic of a romantic relationship. High levels of resentment in marriage start a chain reaction within a relationship.

And when there's safety people have freedom to express what they really feel. Resentment in a relationship is an impasse stemming from a past sense of wrongdoing from the other person. It helps you be able to build and have healthy, loving relationships. [Read: Here’s where to start if you want to improve your marriage]. When you resent your partner, you may be quick to pick fights rather than them happening organically. Instead of avoiding the problem, it is important to be open and honest about where the resentment lies. It can be even worse in a marriage, where couples tend to fall back on the notion that their respective partners “should just know” how the other person is feeling or what they want.

Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Life Advancer is a blog created by Anna LeMind, B.A., and Panos Karam with the purpose to give you solutions for improving your life and becoming your best possible self. And I started feeling like a single parent with our four kids. Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker in Ohio. Oops! Life is busy and full of changes; your partner is not always going to be able to identify and deliver your needs. At some point, your partner will let you down or do something that will hurt you. Resentment is a dangerous thing, but it does not have to end a relationship. Reconciliation is the process of working through the pain which is caused by resentment in relationship and choosing not to hold on to that grudge anymore. This resentment can lead to major problems in the relationship and cause rifts and make people wonder if they are still in love with their spouses. All content published on this website is intended for informational purposes only. What does it mean to be resentful of someone? What happens is these feelings build up inside of you until one day you wake up and feel resentment towards your partner.

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